A Big Anniversary - Four Years Since My Car Accident

Yes, that's right - today is four years since my car accident. I can't believe that so much time has passed.

Last year, just one year ago, I was in such a different place (and I blogged about the three-year anniversary). I was totally demoralized, completely hopeless, and crippled by pain. I was angry at the man who crashed into me, saddened by the doctors who made me feel crazy for being in so much pain, helpless to find anything to make me feel better, depressed, as I watched my life fade away, and stuck in this accelerating downfall.

And, now?

Wow.

What a difference. Like the butterfly the accompanies this post, I feel as if I am reborn, spreading my wings, and taking flight. I feel healthy, strong, YOUNG, confident, and renewed. I really wasn't sure if this feeling would ever come. I was so sure that I would be handicapped for the rest of my life, and that it was all going down the drain. Yet, as my therapist points out, I kept working at my own healing, and I brought it about - I found new doctors, I kept pursuing answers, and I discovered that I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG! There was something serious going on in my back (a fractured spine), it was fixable, and I WOULD GET BETTER.

And here I am. I am grateful for your support, love, and encouagement, from the darkest of days through the parting of the clouds. This anniversary is so different from last year's, and I know that it can only get better from here on out.

So, while I will never be thankful for the accident, I am thankful for all the lessons learned, the power of healing, the feeling of vitality that flows through my body, and the blessings of friends and family.

Appreciating life

Well, dear friends, I officiated at a devastatingly difficult funeral today. The woman who died had two teenaged kids, and a husband who had been her honey since high school. She died in a tragic accident, and everyone was just completely crushed by the loss.

And, I, your trusty rabbi, needed to keep it together throughout the ceremony and burial. I mean, I have enough trouble with death as it is, and I struggle through your basic funeral (is there ever really such a thing??) of a 90 year old who had a full and celebrated life. However, this is the hardest funeral I have ever had to lead, and in all honesty, I am still recovering.

I can't believe how much energy and absolute will it took to keep from collapsing in tears. I looked out over the chapel, and every single person in attendance was crying. The speakers were all crying. The family was crying. And I, a sensitive and emotional human being, had to stay composed. Wow - it was so hard to get up and conclude the service after all the eulogies. I could barely speak.

Well, thanks for listening to my rabbinical ramblings (always with the alliteration, ah?). Hope all is well in your world, and that you find yourself feeling just a bit more grateful for the blessings, joy, and love in your life today.

A 50th Anniversary Party

I had the honor of blessing a couple at Shabbat services this morning - they were celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Isn't that amazing? I was just in awe and completely inspired by this couple. They are so in love, so devoted to each other, and so kind to those around them. I learn a lot by watching them.

So, this morning, I called them to Torah, gave them the aliyah before I read today's portion, and followed the reading with a blessing. I, little ole me, had the privilege of blessing this couple. It felt like it should have been the other way around - they should have been blessing me, and sharing their wisdom with me. I was, needless to say, incredibly humbled and honored by this experience. And then, to show how kind they truly are, they sponsored a lovely luncheon after services for all of us at Minyan. What a treat! May we all have the blessing of spending at least fifty years with a loved one.

The morning also taught me to be sure to find someone that I can imagine spending that much time with! Oh, to be a fly on the wall throughout their marriage! I am sure that they have been through much - many trials, many joys and simchas, and probably plenty of challenges.

Well, I wish them many more years of love, friendship, and blessing. And may we all find ourselves surrounded by the same.