Boo Hoo, Moo Moo

Well, I've just learned that I am officially banned, for life, from donating blood. Why? Because I have bovine material swimming around inside of me. You may recall that when I had my spinal fusion surgery back in December 2007, the surgeon used cadaver bone, bovine material, and even some synthetic material.

I was hoping to donate as part of my synagogue's big Mitzvah Sunday event - the whole community was coming together to do all kinds of mitzvot (good deeds) to help the temple and the world around us. One of the ways that I was looking forward to participating was to be a good role model by donating blood.

I now learn that those of us lucky enough to have cow parts are not allowed, permanently, to donate blood.

However, when I kvetched about this to my sister, she wisely answered, "Well, which would you rather have? The ability to donate blood, but be in pain? Or your life back and be totally healed?"

Well, when you put it that way.... :)

One Year Since My Surgery!!

Today is the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY since my spinal fusion surgery at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York City.

One year?!?!?!?

I never thought I would ever get better, let alone have surgery, let alone recover so well from it. I was looking back at my blog post from the day before the surgery, and I see the fear and the hope that I felt.

On the left is an x-ray that I found online - it pretty much shows what I had done (though I think that mine was one level lower: L5-S1).

So, what's changed over the past year, since the surgery? Here's what I am celebrating:

1. I never thought I would dance again, and I have now danced on many occasions - including a recent jaunt to Webster Hall (a dance club here in NYC). This was my BIGGEST WISH!
   
2. I never thought I would be in the right frame of mind to lose weight, and I have lost more than 15 pounds so far.
   
3. I never imagined that I would walk without a cane, and now I can even jog!
   
4. I could no longer envision a life without chronic pain, and now I am 95% without pain of any kind!
5. I didn't think I would be able to walk farther than 2 blocks without pain, and now I can walk at least 2 miles before I feel sore.
   
6. I didn't think I would be able to stand for an entire Shabbat worship service (I learned to take many breaks), and now I can confidently stand the whole time!
7. I thought I would have to have my groceries delivered from now on - but now, I can carry them up the stairs myself!!
8. I figured that I would feel tired, depressed, and OLD from now on, but I finally feel young, vibrant, energetic, and ALIVE!!!

Thanks for celebrating with me - I couldn't have gotten through it all without your support and love. Here's to another good year!!

5 Month Surgery Update

Believe it or not - today marks FIVE MONTHS since my spinal surgery!! How has time passed so quickly? I truly feel like I have experienced a miracle - my life is so completely and totally changed. Some interesting developments:






1) I've been able to start doing some video workouts! My cable system comes with a section called "Exercise TV," and it includes all kinds of workouts, from simple walking, dancing, pilates, yoga, and aerobics. I have been doing a walking workout (basically low impact, left-right-left-right, add some arms), which covers 2 miles over the half-hour, and it has felt so good! Having done NOTHING like this for three years, it feels amazing to be able to work up a sweat without being in tremendous pain.

2) I DANCED THE NIGHT AWAY!!! My synagogue held a big fund-raiser dinner dance two weeks ago. I had no idea what to expect - they advertised dancing, but were the congregants in attendance actually going to get up?? The answer was a HUGE yes! And, dear readers, I was up there the WHOLE TIME!! I was able to dance for THREE hours in HEELS, and didn't even hurt the next day. I haven't danced in years, and I haven't worn heels in years, and I was doing BOTH!!! 13 year old Marci, who won tons of dance contests on the Bar/Bat Mitzvah circuit, was celebrating the return to the dancefloor. My hips were shaking, my shoulders were shimmying, and the electric slide was calling my name. Ahhhhh......

3) I am closer and closer to being able to sit with my right leg in front of me. This may seem minor, but think about how often you have your legs up - in bed, sitting cross-legged, etc. I have had to keep it hanging off the side of the bed until I lay down because my hip wouldn't let me bring up the leg. Now - the muscle is much looser and I can do it!

Thanks for helping me celebrate!!

How am I feeling?

One word: GREAT!!!

Woohoo!!!

So, we are now at the 16 week mark, post-surgery. On one hand, it feels like so long since the surgery; on the other, I feel like I just got out of the hospital. But, my life keeps changing every day, and I feel better and better.

One example - my sister and I spent all day yesterday (after Shabbat services) cleaning, shopping, and preparing for my birthday party. Before my surgery, I would have only been able to do about an hour of work, then I would have had to recover over a few days. Yesterday, I not only led services, then did 6 hours of work, I then made it through the entire party. And, this morning? I got right out of bed like nothing had happened. Isn't that AMAZING?!?!?

I can't explain how much these changes mean to me. It's truly a miracle. Hooray!!

Surgery Update: Three Month Checkup

Hello! I am very pleased to report that I had my three-month follow-up appointment at the surgeon's a few days ago. Can you believe that three months have already gone by since my spinal fusion surgery? I know I can't...

Anywho, I had a fresh set of x-rays taken (the picture to the left looks just like mine), met with a physician's assistant, and then saw my surgeon. All of them agreed that my recovery is going splendidly. The screws are all in the right place, the fused bone is forming nicely, the incision is healing up well, and my pain level is decreasing smoothly.

I finally had a chance to ask the surgeon what exactly had been put into my spine. He explained that a bone graft was taken from my pelvic bone, which was then mixed with cadaver bone (I plan to be possessed by the spirit of the person whose bone is in me any day now... stay tuned for updates... teehee...) and "bovine materials." BOVINE??? All I can say to that is:

MOO!!

I told my surgeon that, in no uncertain terms, he changed my life. He paused for a second, then responded, "Well, spinal fusion often gets a bad rap [due to its severity], but in a case like yours, where you have been in pain for so long, it can really be the right choice." And it was. I will always be grateful for the medical advances which enabled me to finally be healed from the years of suffering that I have lived with.

In other news, my 30th birthday is coming up next week..... woohoo!!!

Six-week Check-up

Well, folks, I got a great report at the surgeon's today. I had my six-week (can it already be six weeks since my surgery?!??) check-up today, which included an x-ray. All is well! So far, my spine is healing, the screws are where they should be, and the bone is fusing properly. I am right on track for my healing process.

I told them about the increased pain I have had over the past few weeks, and they said that is, indeed, a very normal phenomenon. As I get better, I unintentionally do too much, and thus set myself back a few days. This happened two weeks ago, and again this past week. Apparently, once you hit the four week mark, you have a greater risk of pain. Guess it is human nature to get all excited about feeling better, and go wild (wild being - sitting for a WHOLE HOUR at once - isn't that CRAZY BEHAVIOR?!?!?). Teehee!

Most people do not start physical therapy until 3 months after surgery, but the surgeon said that I am doing so well that I can start now! He prescribed gentle massage (no complaints here), gentle isometrics, and modalities (heat, STIM, etc.). I hope to start that up next week.

It is so reassuring to be told that, a) it is normal to be in pain right now, and, b) I am really getting better. My doctor also said that it might take me longer to heal from all the pain because I was in pain for so long (three long years). My body has a lot of catching up to do.

Thanks, as always, for all of your support and encouragement!!

Down and Out...

Hi, everyone. I haven't posted in about a week because the past few days have been rough. All in all, my recovery from my spinal surgery has been going well, but I overdid it late last week, and have needed a lot of sleep and rest subsequently. It's been hard, and I am trying very hard not to get discouraged. The picture above is my bed - isn't it comfy looking? Of course, Precious has been open to lots of good cuddling, so her TLC is quite healing.

But, the pain can be so debilitating. All of my pre-surgery pain is gone, but this post-surgery pain gets bad at times. Not only am I experiencing pain from the spinal fusion itself, but also from the bone grafts they took from both sides of my pelvic bone. All in all, my entire pelvis is aching constantly.

Ugh, I hate to complain, but I had to let it out.

I have an x-ray and 6-week follow-up appointment tomorrow. Hopefully, I will get lots of good news on my healing and recovery. I hope to hear that the bones are all fusing properly, and that I am on the right track.

Hope all is well with you!

Almost forgot to tell you...

By the way - it turns out that one of my vertebrae was actually FRACTURED!!! The surgeon couldn't believe it. He got in there and "was thrown for a loop" (according to the physician's assistant). No wonder I never got better - I've been living with a broken back FOR THREE YEARS!!!!

This surgeon was the first to notice something weird going on - he saw it on the most recent MRI, and said that it looked like either a fracture or a congenital problem. The fracture was confirmed during the surgery.

HOW COME NOBODY SAW IT SOONER?!??!?

I feel so vindicated - so many people doubted that I was truly in pain, and couldn't understand why I wasn't getting better. They said "lose weight." "Try acupuncture." "Try my doctor." "Is it really that bad?" "You really can't come tonight?" POO ON ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE!!


So, there.


(okay, time to lay down - can't sit any longer. I promise to visit your blogs really soon, because I miss all of you!)

Lay, Lady, Lay

(trying to actually type this one at the computer - yay!)

Well, I am starting to learn more about what I can and cannot do, post-surgery. I was given a list of "precautions," which are activities or actions I am not allowed to do:

• Bending
• Lifting (anything heavier than a gallon of milk)
• Twisting (so hard to avoid this one!!)

Plus, I am not allowed to sit longer than 30 minutes. This one is SO hard to do. Essentially, I am supposed to change positions as frequently as possible, so as not to get stiff, or put any pressure on the surgery site. It is definitely difficult to follow this strictly - for instance, at the doctor's office yesterday, I had to wait in the waiting room for FORTY MINUTES before they called my name. I started getting SO uncomfortable, and also knew that I was long past the legal limit. I went up to the receptionist (Yay for being assertive!) and she said that they were now, indeed, ready for me.

As far as getting the sutures removed went, it was more weird than painful. It is just a very strange sensation, having a string pulled through your skin. I just kept breathing, and hoped that it would be over quickly (and it was!).

Funny thing - as I was waiting for the nurse to get started, I was laying on the table, back and tush exposed (I was facing the wall). I hear a knock on the door, and a loud male voice says, "This is what you think of me?!?!" LOL - it was my surgeon, coming in to say hi. He wasn't actually scheduled to meet with me at the appointment yesterday, but he saw my name on the wall and wanted to pop in to say hi. What a nice doctor! He even took a look at the wound and said that it was healing up very well.

Now that the sutures are out, I no longer have to wear a bandage on my back. THANK GOD! It has been so gosh darn itchy, I can't believe it. Now there is just some surgical tape over it, and that is supposed to fall off on its own over the next week or two.

So, the moral of the story is, I can't sit so long. I am SO SORE today, all along my hips and tailbone. A good friend took me to and from my appointment yesterday, so I treated her to lunch after the appointment - another hour of sitting. Ugh. That didn't help. Consequently, I have tried to stay in bed most of the day today, while being very conscientious about ice and medication.

Overall, I feel better and stronger each day. 99% of the pain from my pre-operative life is gone, and I am only experiencing the surgery pain. After three years of getting worse, it is so great to actually IMPROVE!

Almost there...

Well, friends, we are now entering the home stretch, the final leg, the final countdown (cue hair band) - my surgery is tomorrow. I have been on a liquid diet for today, and, surprisingly, it wasn't bad at all. Those Ensure drinks sure are tasty!

Oh, wait - Precious just climbed in my lap.... okay, there we go.

Anyway, my operation is scheduled for 1:30 pm tomorrow (isn't that a little late, considering I have to FAST??!?!). My mom arrived safely today, and now she and my sister are napping. I am up, unable to really relax, and am watching tv (just finished Best in Show, one of my favorites, and 10 Things I Hate About You is on now). I am almost done packing my bag for the hospital, including the super-cute new pajamas I bought: four mix-and-match pieces - tank top, long-sleeved shirt, comfy pants, and robe. Figured that they will be a good bet for the hospital and for once I get home. Speaking of which, I hope to be home by the end of the week - they have pretty much told me to expect about 3 days in the hospital.

I will definitely try to post remotely, even just to clear my head, feel a sense of normalcy, and reach out to all of you. I feel so loved, supported, and encouraged by all of the incredible souls around me (including all of my blog-friends). The image that comes to mind is a nice, soft cushion, filled with all the prayers and hope of my friends and family. This pillow is supporting me, comforting me, and sustaining me.

Well, that's all for now. I will probably feel the need to blog again later tonight, out of sheer anxiety, but, if not - wish me luck!

Ta ta for now :)

Surgical Consult

Howdy, y'all!

I am beginning to feel pretty nervous - I am going to the surgeon tomorrow, and our appointment is called a "surgical consult." When I called the receptionist to confirm earlier today, I asked her what that means, exactly. She said, "it means you are making plans for surgery."

I feel really ambivalent about this - both relieved and terrified. If I wind up having surgery, it could mean that I FINALLY have a chance to feel better. That would be incredible. I can't even imagine what being pain-free would feel like....

On the other hand, the idea of surgery absolutely and totally terrifies me. I have always had a phobia of anesthesia, and I am also scared that I would be in that percentage of people who wind up getting worse from the surgery.

Oy.

I also don't know anything about the timeline yet. When would the surgery be? Soon? How long would recovery take? Physical Therapy? Guess it is time to start looking for message boards on the topic.

So, tell me - have you ever had surgery of any kind? How was it? Were you helped by it?