Heads or Tails Tuesday - Recipe

Welcome back to Heads or Tails Tuesday! If you want to participate, check out the weekly theme and then have fun - you can free associate, be very literal, or anything in between.

Today's Theme? Recipe

I feel like focusing on the word "Recipe," particularly in regards to the Jewish New Year, Rosh HaShanah, coming up on Monday night, September 29. Here goes:

What is the recipe for a good year? What encourages God to write our names in the Book of Life for the coming year? Though we should be aiming for goodness, honesty, and compassion all year, the High Holy Days really remind us the importance of owning up to our mistakes and trying harder the next time. Here is our yearly opportunity to remember the past year, reflect on our actions, and promise ourselves, our friends, and God, that we will do better in the coming year.

The prayerbook tells us that three things can temper God's severe decree: Tzedakah (charity), T'shuvah (repentance) and Tefilah (prayer). Adding more of these three acts into our lives can make our days more meaningful, and can truly aid in the repair of the world. Yet, these are not the only ingredients, I would like to suggest, for our recipe for being a good person.

New ingredients for a good life:

1. Staying involved and informed in local, state, and national politics (and voting!!)
2. Donating time, in addition to money, to important causes
3. Making sure to do "the little things:" giving up a seat on the bus/subway to someone who needs it more than you, allowing someone with a few items to pass in front of you in line at the grocery store, etc.
4. Recycling
5. Finding a good therapist
6. Meditation and Prayer
7. Being silly as often as possible
8. Exercising your brain in a hearty debate
9. Exercising your body whatever way feels good

What would you add? What is your recipe for being a good person and living a good life?

Heads or Tails Tuesday: Royal

Well, folks, it is that time again! Heads Or Tails is a weekly meme done on Tuesdays hosted by Skittles. Anyone can play. In fact the more, the merrier! You can visit the Heads or Tails Home Page for more information on how you can join in!

This week's topic/prompt: ROYAL

So, I am so excited to tell you about one of the greatest QUEENS of rock, CYNDI LAUPER!!
She has put together one of the most incredible concert tours of all time, True Colors.

The concert tour, sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign, Logo Network, PFLAG, and many others, and has very important goals. According to the website,

The goal of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) equality is at the heart of True Colors. From day one, the tour has sought to raise awareness about the discrimination the GLBT community still faces and raise significant funds for the organizations that work everyday on their behalf.

My sister and I attended this concert this past Sunday night, June 1, at the Jones Beach Theater here in New York. It was one of the most positive, wonderful, and celebratory events I have ever attended, nevermind the fact that some of my most favorite performers were there!! The show was hosted by "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's" Carson Kressley, and the line-up was:

• Mary McBride
• Kat Deluna - who has a huge hit right now with her song, "Run the Show"
  
• The Cliks- who turned "Cry Me a River" into a rock anthem
  
• Indigo Girls - their voices have been such an enormous, enduring part of my life, ever since overnight camp campfires, and it was absolutely amazing to see them live (I first saw them live while I was in high school, and hadn't since then). They even sang two of my most favorite songs, "Galileo" and "Closer to Fine."
  
• Rosie O'Donnell - we expected stand-up comedy, but were instead treated to moving, beautiful lessons on life, family, and love. She spoke about her mother, who died when Rosie was young, and her children, who continue to teach her every day.
  
• The B-52s - they ROCK!! The band puts on such a good show, filled with so much energy and life. "Rock Lobster" will always make me smile.
  
• Cyndi Lauper - the QUEEN herself. She sang many of her most famous songs, but I was moved to speechlessness when she sang one of my all-time, most favorite songs, "I Drove All Night."
  

We laughed, we cried, we sang, we clapped, we danced, we cheered. My sister and I have always believed that we must have been gay men in past lives, so we felt right at home :) The night was closed by a group performance of Cyndi's song, "True Colors." It was beautiful, inspiring, tear-jerking, and empowering. My sister and I held onto each other, smiled, and sang along.

But I see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow

If you have a chance to see this tour, or to support any of its important sponsors, I strongly encourage you to do so. As long as there are any groups of people who are not considered equal, or do not have equal rights, then we must continue to strive for equality for all.

Heads or Tails Tuesday: Peace or Piece

Well, folks, it is that time again! Heads Or Tails is a weekly meme done on Tuesdays hosted by Skittles. Anyone can play. In fact the more, the merrier! You can visit the Heads or Tails Home Page for more information on how you can join in!

Today's topic/prompt: Peace or Piece

We're gonna play random word association here, jumping off from the word "Peace" and seeing if I wind up at the other word, "Piece." Think I can do it? Let's see where the stream of consciousness takes me (I haven't tried this on the blog before, so we shall see how it goes!!). Admittedly, some parts might only make sense in my brain, but humor me :)

Peace - Give Peace a Chance - New Kids Dance - Peace in the Middle East - War and Peace - Crime and Punishment - Crimes and Misdemeanors - Sense and Sensibility - Pride and Prejudice - Joy and Pain - Sunshine and Rain - I've seen fire and I've seen rain - James Taylor - campfires - s'mores - guitars - Closer to Fine - Indigo Girls - True Colors - Scarlet Fever - Red - Velvet - Barbershop Quartet - Skokie, Illinois - high school - musical - Anything Goes - big hats - Kentucky Derby - mint julep - Georgia - Georgia on My Mind - Driving Miss Daisy - Jessica Tandy - Cocoon - growing old - immortality - reincarnation - past life regression - Dr. Brian Weiss - Oprah Winfrey - James Frey - A Million Pieces - Piece



Wow -- it worked!!!

Heads or Tails Tuesday: Fools

Welcome to another edition of the popular meme, Heads or Tails Tuesday. If you are interested in participating on your own blog, visit the HoT Home Page for more information. Each week, we are provided with a concept, phrase, or even a choice between two ideas, and we can write whatever we would like.

This week's topic: Fools

I have always had a tenuous relationship with April Fool's Day. I am very sensitive about being tricked because I am usually either gullible or vulnerable in some way. Plus, my dad's birthday is tomorrow, and that has always been my focus on April 1 (yes, my father and I are BOTH Aries - woohoo!!).

This year, however, I decided to play a simple joke on my sister. Sorry, Linds!!

I am currently out of town, at our annual rabbi convention. This year, it is being held in Cincinnati, which is considered the "home base" for American Reform Judaism. Now, Cincinnati is not at all glamorous (apologies to anyone offended by this comment), but I figured that I would use it to my advantage.

So, I called Lindsay early this morning at her office. I left her a voice mail that said the following:

"Hi, Linds! I hope you had a great night, and I look forward to talking to you soon. Listen, I wanted to tell you something. I have, unexpectedly, totally fallen in love with it here in Cincinnati. Isn't that crazy? I really think that I should move here. So, last night, after we got off the phone, I spent some time online, looking at information about what it is like to live here. I am really excited about what I've found, and I wanna talk to you about it when you get this message. What do you think??"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! <--------- That's Lindsay's inner monologue when she got this message.

She left the most polite message back: "Hi. I would love to hear more about your decision. I support you in whatever you choose. Let's talk about it some more."

Well, I couldn't let it go on too long. I knew that, before long, she would probably call my parents to discuss this strange turn of events. So, I emailed her, and asked her how her day was.

She wrote back, expressing her surprise about my feelings toward Cincinnati.

I responded, simply: "APRIL FOOL'S!!!!"

Epilogue: Lindsay called my mom, and asked her to yell at me for playing such a cruel joke on her. HA!!!!!

Heads or Tails Tuesday - Part of a House

Well, folks, it is that time again! Heads Or Tails is a weekly meme done on Tuesdays. Anyone can play. In fact the more, the merrier! You can visit the Heads or Tails Home Page for more information on how you can join in!

Today's Topic = Part of a House.

Now, this is a difficult one. It took a little while for an idea to come to mind. Then, I started to think about Basements - why is it that they are always SO SPOOKY?!?!?!

So, I thought that I would turn to you, my darling readers, for some insight into this quandary. Why do YOU think that basements are always so scary?

When you were a child, did you avoid the basement (particularly at night) like I did? Did you run up those stairs as fast as you possibly could?

Or, perhaps you aren't scared of basements - if this is the case, please share your wisdom with us!

Heads or Tails Tuesday - List 7

Wow - it has been SO long since I've had a chance to participate in "Heads or Tails Tuesday." It feels so good to be back! Heads Or Tails is a weekly meme done on Tuesdays. Anyone can play. In fact the more, the merrier! You can visit the Heads or Tails Home Page for more information on how you can join in!

Today's topic is: "List 7"

So, I can list 7 of anything that I want. I think that it will be fun to share 7 things that you might not know about me - some quirks, "weirditudes," and trivia.

Seven Thingies about Marci

1. I am a recovering nail biter - I bit my nails throughout my entire childhood, and somehow managed to give it up for the senior prom. Since becoming a rabbi, I have been able to keep my nails nice most of the time. However, you can always tell how I am REALLY feeling at any given time by looking at my nails. If they are short or bitten off, you know that I am feeling really overwhelmed. Luckily, they look great right now.
2. I dream of Taco Bell - I have maintained a deep passion for Taco Bell for much of my life. This relationship was challenged when I moved to Israel for one year. Despite having many other fast food chains (McDonalds, KFC, Sbarro, etc), there aren't any Taco Bell locations in the country. I guess that I was so distraught about this that I actually dreamt about Taco Bell a number of times.
   
3. I once tripped over Kevin Bacon's children - Oy - how embarrassing! I was out for sushi on the Upper West Side of NYC a few years ago with a friend. I stood up from our booth, moved backwards without looking, and tripped over a small child standing there. I apologized to the kid, and then reflexively looked up to apologize to the parents. Lo and behold, the parents were KEVIN BACON AND KYRA SEDGWICK!!! I smiled, panicked, and ducked back into my booth. I have never forgotten the feeling of SHAME!!!
4. I have seen RENT 8 times - I am a huge fan of the musical, RENT. I first saw it in Boston while I was in college, and fell in love with it. The story makes me cry every time, the music gives me goosebumps, and the characters became my friends. Since living in NYC, I have seen it many more times, and each time I notice something new. I am so sad that it is closing on June 1, and will miss the ease with which I have been able to see it over the years.
   
5. I have an extra bone in my left foot. Yes, you read that correctly. I experienced a lot of pain in my left foot as a child, and my parents couldn't figure out what was wrong. Our family doctor was baffled by it, so he sent us to an orthopedic doctor. That doctor took an x-ray, showed it to us, and announced - YOU HAVE AN EXTRA BONE IN YOUR FOOT! That's right, folks, I am a mutant. It really doesn't impact my life anymore, thankfully, but it definitely influences which shoes I purchase (pressure irritates it and makes it hurt for a long time).
   
6. I have been having recurring dreams about Hong Kong. If anyone can figure this one out, I will be forever in debt to you. I keep dreaming that I am planning a trip to Hong Kong. The strange thing is -- I am traveling alone on this trip, and I have never actually gotten there in my dream. I am constantly planning for it, packing for it, and occasionally flying there. But, I have never arrived....
7. I am afraid of soggy bread. I cannot buy ready-made sandwiches or wraps at convenience stores or takeout places. Thinking of soggy bread actually causes me anxiety - a fact which my sister likes to tease me about. I can't really spend too much time thinking about it, so that's all you're gonna get on that one :)

Well, that's all folks. Hope you've enjoyed!
So, come on - share something quirky about yourself!!!

Heads or Tails Tuesday - Never Say Never

It is Heads or Tails Tuesday again - wahoo! Heads Or Tails is a weekly meme done on Tuesdays. Anyone can play. In fact the more, the merrier! You can visit the Heads or Tails Home Page for more information on how you can join in!

Today's topic is: NEVER SAY NEVER.

Never.... what a concept. In thinking about it, I don't think that it is something that I believe in. How can you really say that something would NEVER happen, or has NEVER happened? Even things that you thought were NEVER possible, whether positive (falling in love) or negative (a serious car accident), are usually somewhere in the realm of possibility. My family always likes to quote the adage:

"The one thing you always know is that you never know, you know?"

So, in response to the word, NEVER, I say - you never know!

I never thought I would have a blog, or even that I could maintain it for so long. In actuality, I am now nearing my 100th post... look for the celebration soon!

I never would have guessed that I would become a rabbi... but now, it is the most natural, wonderful, and perfect life. I was made for this, and just didn't know it when I was younger.

A year ago, I never would have thought that my relationship with my ex would end. And now, I feel so free, so much farther along my life's path, and so optimistic about my future.

And you? What could you have never imagined?

Heads or Tails Tuesday: Halloween

Well, the Heads or Tails topic for this week is Halloween, and it gives me a good opportunity to blog about something that I have wanted to talk about for a long time. It's really hard for me, and I mentioned it once before, but I psyched myself up and got ready to write now as Halloween got closer. I hope you will bear with me as I finally get it all out.

For me, Halloween is no longer a fun holiday. Five years ago this Wednesday, I learned of the death of one of my best friends, Todd. He was found dead on an air force base (on which he was stationed) in Korea, and his cause of death has never fully been determined. I still hear the echo in my head when my father told me the news over the phone: "Honey, Todd is dead." Even looking at those words on my screen as I type them, I am stunned that they are true.

Todd was one of those friends you find as a child, and an indelible bond is formed. We met at synagogue when we were about 8 years old. His mom was single, and she found a lot of meaning coming to Shabbat services each week. She became close with my mom, and thus, Todd and I had reason to hang out every Friday night.

We would bring our Cabbage Patch Dolls to services, sit in the front row, and pretend that they were our children. We would make the sign language sign for "I love you" back and forth to each other. We would fall asleep snuggled up to each other in the backseat of my mom's car each week as the moms talked long into the night in the front.

As the years passed, we would lose touch for long periods of time. However, each time that we found each other, it was as if no time had gone by. We were able to pick up our friendship right where it had left off. As I got older, I always had the sense that, if we reached 30 and hadn't gotten married, we had each other. He had a very deep, important place in my heart, and the child-like "I love yous" grew to a love that was like the closest friend, family member, or lover.

Nevertheless, we were never really single at the same time, so dating was never a real option. I was engaged at one point, and he was single. Later, he was engaged, and I was single. It kept going back and forth like that. Suddenly, in 2000 and 2001, we were both single. Though he was now in the air force, and stationed in Arizona, we often wound up in Chicago simultaneously. We would spend every waking moment together on these visits home, even falling asleep in each other's arms after a particularly long day.

Then, September 11, 2001, happened. I felt an urgency to spend time with him, unlike anything I had felt before. I talked to him on the phone many times a week, and suggested during one of these talks that I come out to Tucson for a visit. We arranged for a visit over Thanksgiving of that year.

Well, what can I tell you - it was a passionate, intoxicating visit, filled with laughter, love, sight-seeing, romance, and fun. I never thought that moments like that would ever happen, and then they were real. However, we both realized that there wasn't really a future for us as a couple - he was living the military life, and I was becoming a rabbi. We agreed not to let the weekend change our relationship, and returned to our lives.

Who knew that, less than one year later, he would be dead??

We stayed in touch, and soon I learned that he would be shipping off to Korea. My heart ached, knowing that it would be two years before I could see him again. Yet, there is a certain excitement to an epistolary relationship, so we wrote long letters back and forth. I received postcards from his various Asian travels, and I sent him updates of my spiritual journey.

Then, silence. I didn't hear from him for a little while. Maybe it was just going to be one of those breaks in communication that we would go through? But, and I don't know why, one late night I had an urge to email him and tell him that I was thinking of him. The next morning, I got a disturbing email from him. He felt like he didn't deserve his achievements, he had hurt too many people, and felt like he had lost God. I wrote back quickly, telling him that he was wonderful, that returning to God was possible at any time, and that I cared for him. That was October 29....

Then, the phone call on October 31...."Todd is dead."

I was convinced that it was suicide, but the coroners didn't find any evidence. It didn't seem like an accident, and yet it didn't seem like foul play. There were no answers. Just.... nothing.

I flew home immediately. Because he died in Korea, there was a long, weeklong wait for his body to be flown to Chicago for the funeral. My siblings and I sang "Wind Beneath My Wings" at the funeral, because of his love for flight. The rest of those two weeks is a blur.

Todd, I miss you so much. I miss our talks, our scatological humor, our deep conversations about human nature and theology. I can't believe that it has been five years since your death - how can it be that long?? And how can I still hurt so much at this time of year? The months of Halloween decorations only make it hurt more, like I can't get away from the impending anniversary of your death.

I hope that you are flying high, soaring on the breeze, watching over me, and at peace. May your memory always be for a blessing.

Heads or Tails Tuesday - "Explore"

Well, friends, it is Heads or Tails Tuesday again - hooray! Heads Or Tails is a weekly meme done on Tuesdays. Anyone can play. In fact the more, the merrier! You can visit the Heads or Tails Home Page for more information on how you can join in!

Today's topic is: EXPLORE.....

For some reason, the word "explore" often reminds me of camp. In junior high and high school, I had the privilege of attending a wonderful overnight camp, Olin Sang Ruby Union Institute, (or OSRUI, as we call it). OSRUI is a Reform Jewish overnight camp in Oconomowoc, WI, and I had the opportunity to go for three summers, culminating in a summer-long, intensive Hebrew program that was life-altering.

My summers there were, and still are, precious to me. They really helped further the formation of my identity. Before going to camp, I was stuck in a rut - I had 'skipped' first grade, and had a reputation for being both smart and different. It wasn't that I was nerdy, but I felt boxed in to this one image of who I was. Adjusting to the new social group had been quite challenging when I was so young, and it took a long time to break free from merely being known as "the one who skipped."

So, fast forward to the summer after sixth grade - for the first time, no one knew about my past, and I was able to be whomever I wanted. I EXPLORED many different identities that first summer. I even gave myself a new nickname, Maci (pronounced like the store), in order to EXPLORE what that felt like. Soon, I earned a reputation for being fun, wild, spontaneous, and flirty (I had THREE boyfriends in THREE weeks that year!!). What a difference! Luckily, I was able to bring some of that newfound confidence back home with me, and integrate it into my school life. I was never the same, and longed for the next opportunity to go back to camp. I returned the following summer, and then the summer before 10th grade.

For those of you who have attended overnight camp, you know how intense those friendships can be. I am still friends with a number of my camp friends, and I treasure those summers. Additionally, I credit OSRUI with being part of my inspiration to become a rabbi. Those summers instilled in me a deeper love for Judaism than I probably would have had with synagogue life alone. Perhaps I am a rabbi just so that I can recreate those camp experiences for others!

Heads or Tails Tuesday!

This week's theme is HEADS - Hobby
(OR)
TAILS - Anything that rhymes with Hobby.

________________________________________________

Well, it's time to discuss something very difficult for me:

I am a KARAOKE ADDICT.

Sure, it began as a hobby, something that I would do socially. You know, maybe once every few months. Then every few weeks. Suddenly, I became friends with the DJ (T-Bone was his name, in the interest of honest disclosure), and started going a few times A WEEK. All the while, I was an innocent rabbinical student by day, but I turned into a rock-star vixen by night. In all seriousness, I truly love karaoke. I know, I know, it isn't the coolest thing to admit. However, as you may or may not remember, I have all this music and theatre training, and much of my soul really misses it. It is hard to really articulate what I love about performing (the opportunity to be someone else? the spotlight? the spiritual meanings inherent in good art?), but I long for it.

Sure, as a rabbi, I am up in front of the congregation, but that isn't the same as grabbing the microphone, being blinded by the spotlight, and belting out a song that is met by thunderous applause. My heart is in both endeavors, but different parts of my heart are satisfied by either role (rabbi vs. performer).

So, my midnight rendezvous karaoke sessions will continue. And so will my preaching and teaching. And I will come closer to completion.

"Heads or Tails" Tuesday

Heads Or Tails is a weekly meme done on Tuesdays. Anyone can play. In fact the more, the merrier! You can visit the Heads or Tails Home Page for more information on how you can join in!

Today's Theme: List a couple ways LUCK has played a part in your life.

1. Well, just recently, I really felt lucky. I dropped my car off at a parking garage, went about my day, and when I came back I received bad news. My engine had exploded, and there was oil EVERYWHERE. So, this was totally inconvenient, and is still a nightmare, but I keep reminding myself how lucky I was - the engine could have exploded while I was driving, on the highway, late at night. Instead, it was safe in the garage, and I was safe at work. SO LUCKY!!!
2. On the other hand, being a spiritual person, I wonder how much is luck and how much is divine intervention. Was it lucky that I saw a woman rabbi lead services while I was in college, and this led me to my current career as a rabbi? Or was I finally realizing my divine calling? Tough one!
   
3. One more - I feel really lucky that I was born into the family that I have. I just love them all so much, and feel loved and supported by them. I mean, sure we've got plenty of problems along the way, but it could have been so much worse. Yay!